Feelings and bonding.
It is now mid November and Kirsty has been home for about 7 weeks. How exactly do you feel about this newcomer? How do you feel about the fact that your baby has not been your baby for some months?
Don't think your feelings are abnormal.
"We feel like we are looking after her, is she my baby?"
Lets face it you supposed to give birth after 9 months and cuddle your baby. This was not the case and when Kirsty was so small it was hard to get to know her cuddle her and make her feel as "our baby" slowly over the weeks we have go to know her cry, and got to know her. If you feel that a premature baby is not yours then you are not alone. It is hard to get the bond. Please do not get us wrong any sign of a problem etc and we would both be up the hospital like a shot. But it is hard to get that bonding right. Many nights I look at Kirsty and I have regrets, NO NOT AGAINST her but the situation we have been put through. After all it was not her fault and not Lisa's fault. Please don't blame your baby or yourself.
"Jealousy"
Yes thats right jealous of other parents who have had babies normally and have "big" babies. Its true I see friends who have had no problems and I feel envious. Why us why Kirsty? Why not them? These are just some of the ways you can feel. I would say that they are a natural effect of what you have been through.
"Hurtful comments"
Lisa has said some things that hurt me. If your wife does this as well try not to be too upset. Looking back at what Lisa has gone through I think it is the way the experience has come out on her. And crying she does seem more tearful as well.
A bad experience yes but in other ways we are now stronger for this.